Party Random Thoughts
Last night, pressured by wdl4ntentioned friends, for the first time in months, I came out of writer's seclusion and attended a cocktail party which is another word for a social gathering．So there I was, trapped in a crowded mom, people milling (乱转) all around me, each with a drink in hand, chitchatting while the waiters skillfully negotiated their way through the bustle with trays of colorful beverages and fancy hors d'oeuvres (小菜)．It was definitely party time! Yet, instead of losing myself to the convivial (欢乐的) surroundings of food, drink and conversations, I found myself retreating back into my head all the way to China where the subject of American sociality is of great interest．In China, many of my students are curious about how Americans party and have a good time, 'What do you do? Sing and dance? To what kind of music? What's American party talk? How do you dress and act at a party? How about food? What do you eat?'
Every year without fail, students ask their foreign teachers to dedicate a full class to this fascinating topic．Of course, one would think that a subject as interesting and entertaining as such would make for an excellent lesson plan, a rich source of discussions．But to my surprise, many teachers run into roadblocks (障碍) when generating this particular lesson plan．'Michelle, Michelle! I have to teach a class on American parties．And I only have, hmm, five things to say about it．And that I'll talk about five minutes．What am I supposed to do after that?' They cry．'Wall, tell me what those five things are,' I ask．'Arrive late, talk, eat, drink and have a blast.' They blurt out．It is true that the five steps listed above encompass much of the goings-on at American social gatherings．Of course, during parties for special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, weddings, baby showers, anniversaries, graduations, etc．, there are additional ceremonies such as cake cutting, gift opening, dancing', toasting, -playing, etc．But regardless, the fundamentals of a typical American soiree (社交晚会) are good company, good food and drinks, and good times．Sounds simply, doesn't it? But if you were to look deeper and think further, you'll realize that there's far more to these steps than meets the eyes.
Fashionably Late
It is a major faux pas (social embarrassment) to arrive at a party early or even on time．Therefore, with the exception of the hosts, you never want to be the first person present at a social function．Why? Because people fear that others may think that they have no life or nothing better to do than waiting for a party to start．Many Americans try to project an image of business which, whether true or not, has a positive correlation with success．So by arriving late, you are saying, 'I lead a full life and it's exciting and productive.' Therefore, an 8 o'clock party customarily doesn't really start until maybe 9 o'clock as everyone wants to be thought of as a busy and important person with lots to do．In other words, a party is one of those rare occasions where your punctuality can actually hurt you．Strange, isn't it? Anyhow, remember, be fashionably late.
Small Talk
One way of gauging the success of a party is by the noise meter．The louder the party is, the more happening it is, and the more fun people are having．Then you stop to wonder, if it's .so noisy, how can people really hear each other and have great, engaging conversations? The truth is, they don't．They engaged in small talk, which is another word for casual, trivial conversations．They chew the fat, shoot the breeze and swap anecdotes about random- subjects: work, family, news, weather, hobbies, etc．Because the surrounding noise and activities often sidetrack people, it's difficult to get personal or discuss any one topic at length or in depth．The point is to have fun, not to get serious.
However, keep in mind that since people