When one spouse is depressed, a marriage is depressed. This illness erodes emotional and ual intimacy and makes a relationship filled with pessimism and resentment, anger and isolation. Even the sunniest, most capable partner can be pulled into depression’s strong undertow (潜在影响): You may be overwhelmed by extra household chores that your partner is too lethargic (无精打采的) to finish, resentful because your spouse won’t just snap out of it, or feel that you’re somehow to blame for the illness itself. You may feel alone yet unwilling to tell anyone there’s depression in your household, or you may simply wonder when the sparkle and joy, the humor and fun seeped out of your relationship.
If there’s depression in your marriage, it’s time to act—for your partner and yourself. Waiting increases the chances that your relationship won’t last; depressed couples are nine times more likely to divorce. And trying to fight or make peace with this often misunderstood illness on your own raises risks for both of you. Admit that you cannot cure your partner’s depression. Your spouse needs your love, support and concern. But these important qualities can’t reverse depression any more than they can control blood sugar, ease arthritis pain, or clear out clogged (阻塞的) arteries. Just as you wouldn’t rely on love alone to cure a medical condition—or withdraw love because it didn’t—don’t expect that your feelings or attention will be able to alter your spouse’s disordered brain chemistry. Use your love to get help and to remind your partner of his or her intrinsic worth during this challenging time.
Remember, you’re not alone. An estimated 19 million Americans are currently going through depression. In the Reader’s Digest Marriage in America Survey, 42 percent of respondents named depression as a major challenge in their relationships. It’s not surprising that most said this insidious illness had a negative effect on them. But there was an unexpected ray of hope: One in four said depression had a positive outcome for their marriages." Getting diagnosed and treated makes all the difference," says Emily Scott-Lowe, Ph. D., an assistant visiting professor of social work at Pepperdine University, who leads workshops across the country about depression and marriage with her husband, Dennis Lowe, Ph. D., a psychologist and director of Pepperdine’s Center for the Family. Just 33 percent of people with depression seek and get help. But when you do, your chances for significant improvement are 80 to 90 percent. Almost everyone gets some relief."
"There’s a bias that says women get depression more often than men, but it may just be that men don’t ask for help or realize what’s wrong, or respond to depression by abusing alcohol or becoming aggressive or violent," Emily Scott-Lowe says. "And often with men, there’s more agitation than lethargy. A man may seem worked up. He may have frenetic, restless energy that doesn’t fit with the typical picture of someone in bed with shades down and the sheets up over their head."
The couple now present workshops about depression’s impact on couples and families based on their own experience. Their advice See depression as an unwelcome guest—it’s an illness, not a shortcoming. Get help, and support, together.
The title that best expresses the theme of the passage is ______.