Adolescents( 青少年 )mirror the communication they see in their home. Most parents 1 to model how to ask for what you want in a clear and 2 way. They make assumptions that 3 they say something, their meaning is clear and specific. My husband has a memory of his mother 4 cross with him because she told him to "put the thing in the thing on the thing". He had no idea 5 she wanted him to do. She knew exactly what she wanted but he would have needed to be a 6 reader to get the correct message-that she 7 wanted him to put the bread in the bread-bin 8 the counter top. Anger and criticism are closely linked 9 begin both emotions are needs that are not being met. 10 how family relationships could change if parents made 11 of an effort to take responsibility for what they ask, and if they judged their success by the 12 of their children, What would happen if a parent who 13 tells a child to stop slouching (没精打采地坐), 14 You look great when you sit up straight"? I suspect the positive message would be heard 15 you? When parents are 16 about what they want and children hear their requests, 17 anger disappear? No, and we wouldn't want to 18 anger because it is one of the basic human emotions. What we will 19 is a growing self-awareness that makes for connection-and that is where transformation 20 and love is nurtured and grows. Isn’t that what all parents want for themselves and for their children?