I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our 36 , and especially if it’s given from the37. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but38them. Just take them39. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than 40it.
One of my patients told me that when she41to tell her story, people often 42to tell her that they had once had something just like that happen to her. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves.43she stopped talking to most people. It was just too44. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the45of attention to ourselves. But when we listen, they know we care.
I have ever learned to46to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues(纸巾) 47I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them 48, to take them out of their 49of sadness and pain. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there50them.
This51thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been52since I was very young at school. I thought people listened only because they were too 53to speak or did not know the answer. A loving silence often has far more54to connect than the most well-intentioned55 .
小题1:A．introductionB．instructionC．attentionD．relaxation小题2:A．headB．memoryC．mindD．heart小题3:A．talk toB．listen toC．object toD．stick to小题4:A．in B．upC．offD．away小题5:A．denyingB．rememberingC．questioningD．understanding小题6:A．managedB．triedC．hopedD．expected小题7:A．encouragedB．interruptedC．discouragedD．urged小题8:A．uallyB．ImmediatelyC．CompletelyD．Especially小题9:A．impoliteB．meaninglessC．lonelyD．selfish小题10:A．middleB．focusC．centerD．choice小题11:A．respondB．compareC．linkD．regret小题12:A．unlessB．ifC．untilD．when小题13:A．downB．awayC．inD．off小题14:A．experimentB．mixtureC．judgmentD．experience小题15:A．withB．againstC．forD．among小题16:A．complexB．C．complicatedD．single小题17:A．mentionedB．publishedC．taughtD．proved小题18:A．shyB．greedyC．activeD．proud小题19:A．strengthB．energyC．powerD．force小题20:A．gesturesB．praiseC．criticismD．words