I live in the land of Disney, Hollywood and year - round sun. You may think people in
such an attractive, fun-filled place are happier than others. If so, you have some mistaken
ideas about the nature of happiness.
Many intelt people still think fun equals happiness. The truth is that fun and happiness
have little or nothing in common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is
what we experience after an act. It is a deep, long-lasting emotion.
Going to an amusement park or a ball , watching a movie or television are fun
activities that help us relax, temporarily forget our problems and maybe even laugh. But
they do not bring happiness, because their positive effects end when the fun ends.
I have often thought that if Hollywood stars have a role to play, it is to teach us that
happiness has nothing to do with fun. They have constant access to exciting parties, fancy
cars, expensive homes, everything that spells 'happiness'. But in memoir(回忆录)after
memoir, they expose the unhappiness hidden beneath all their fun: depression, alcoholism,
drug addiction, broken marriages and loneliness.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less
satisfying. If he is honest, he will tell you that he is afraid of a commitment. For
commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure and excitement.
Marriage has such moments, but they are not its most distinguishing features.
Similarly, couples that choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun
over painful happiness. They can dine out whenever they want and sleep as late as they want.
Couples with babies are lucky to get a whole night' s sleep. I don't know any parent who
would choose the word fun to describe raising children.
Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the
most liberating realizations we can ever come to. It liberates time: now we can devote more
hours to activities that can truly increase our happiness. It liberates money: buying that new
car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless.
And it frees us from envy: we now understand that all those rich and famous people we were
so sure are happy because they are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all.