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My family and I recently returned from a trip to Alaska, a place that combines supernatural beauty with a breathtaking amount of bear risks. I’ll start with some facts at a glance: WHERE ALASKA IS: Way the hell far from you. Beyond Mars. HOW YOU GET THERE: You sit in a variety of airplanes for most of your life. WHAT THEY HAVE THERE THAT WILL TRY TO KILL YOU: Bears. I am quite serious about this. Although Alaska is now an official state in the United States with modem conveniences such as rental cars and frozen yogurt, it also allows a large number of admitted bears to stride freely, and nobody seems to be the least bit alarmed about this. In fact, the Alaskans seem to be proud of it. You walk into a hotel or department store, and the first thing you see is a glass case containing a stuffed bear the size of a real one. Our hotel had two of these. It was what we travel writers call "a two-bear hotel". Both bears were standing on their hind legs and striking a pose that said: "Welcome to Alaska! I’m going to tear your arms off!" This struck me as an odd concept, greeting visitors with a showcase containing a major local hazard. It’s as if an anti-drug organization went around setting up glass display cases containing stuffed drug smugglers (走私者), with little plaques (胸章) stating how much they weighed and where they were taken. Anyway, we decided the best way to deal with our fear of bears was to become well informed about them, so we bought a book, Alaska Bear Tales. Here are some of the chapter titles, which I am not up: "They’ll Attack Without Warning" "They’ll Really Attack You" "They Will Kill" "Come Quick! I’m Being Eaten by a Bear!" "They Can Be Funny" Ha-ha! I bet they can. I bet Mr. and Mrs. Bear will fight playfully over the remaining portion of a former tourist plumped up by airline food. But just the same, I’m glad that the only actual bears that we saw were in the zoo.

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